Collateral damage of the classroom

Have you noticed that educators’ messages have grown increasingly unintelligible lately?

Perhaps it’s a reaction to Donald Trump: For every single-syllable word he uses, educators are popping-off with a four-syllable one just to show who wins the IQ competition.

Whatever the reason, it’s getting to the point where you need a translator to understand messages from the school.

I found some of the following descriptions in educational journals.

I pulled one from a local school district newsletter.

I made some up.

Can you tell which is which?


The school says:

[name of student] was reaccommodated to facilitate individualized dialogic experiences as a pragmatic step toward embracing behavioral methodologies directed toward enhancing academic success.

The translator says:

[name of student] was sent to the office and told if he didn’t shape up, he’d flunk.

The school says:

[name of student] exhibits periodic withdrawal of attentiveness which constitutes a significant contributing factor in his failure to thrive in an academic environment.

The translator says:

[name of student] is flunking because he doesn’t pay attention.

The school says:

[name of teacher] impacts her students by providing a nurturing and positive environment in collaboration with parents to provide a foundation for students to reach their highest potential.

The translator says:

[name of teacher] does fun projects during the schools and sends students’ academic work for homework.

The school says:

[name of administrator] is committed to building a trusting culture in which school improvement is a constant priority and to shaping the future of our precious students.

The translator says:

[name of administrator] lets staff alone unless they mess up spectacularly.